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I actually found this sort of offensive and rude, but I don't want to pick a fight. I suppose it was...cute...

I always told myself to stop dreaming I’ll provide the setting for the crash Here we are – both of us, Standing at two points of an axis Exchanging causalities ...

There is not a quiver in your heart that I do not feel though we're miles apart, okay, as a sentance this doesn't make sense to me. There is not ...

i really liked this. it's an interesting view, even. my only complaint is that you used "Lebanon" so much that it became redunant and annoying. i mean, i know the ...

The sweet sea grass stirring as I watch in solemn vigil for friends who in the grave lie. this is too wordy for a sentance in poetry on one line. ...

i agree with firestarter - you're a great poet. and the beginning sounded like it had a meaning, and then you started talking about your headache. it was sort of ...

Who would let the leaves dive down onto the grass right in front of their home?" well, that's a mouthful. cut that down a bit, if you will. What if ...

I feel like Joan of Arc tonight Here at my execution, Nobody to witness but strangers Tired, staked and screaming Out your name Water-flight settles in on My coke-bruised head, ...

although many will probably bombard you with comments about how cliche this is, i must stand in arguement aganist them. just because the subject is overused, it doesnt' mean that ...

i can see you were trying to uphold the rhyming pattern, but many of these do not "rhyme": You gave me hope, you gave me peace. At last, there was ...

With pearl-soft skin and angelic hair And luscious lips and blue eyes fair. too many "and"s. Fearing her voice ringing, "Leave;be gone!" But there she stayed, listening 'till the end, ...

From the bottom of my heart I knew you, I knew your mask and was touched by your gloves change the second "i knew" around. no suggestions. sorry. This hid ...

okay. your poetry is good. but i noticed a flaw in it because i do the same thing. now - your stanzas make sense and your imagery is wonderful - ...

as I stroll across the sand that gives me belonging Into the thick sand that lays at the edge of the endless volumes of the sea these lines are too ...

Wisps of sea air And looming mountains Misted with the memories From the deep halls of mountain kings Siren voices on the wind Carry – sweet and hauntingly Here we ...